life after le cordon bleu

Graduation happened, goodbyes happened, tears happened, flights happened...a month to the day after my graduation from Le Cordon Bleu and I'm still pining away for my days in Paris. It's amazing to be back in San Francisco- I love my car, my apartment and my friends, but boy do I miss Paris. Watching the latest episodes of Gossip Girl make me dream of the days I would walk around Paris without a care in the world. I'm left with memories, and a constantly evolving scrapbook (thanks Mom and Dad!). I think about you all the time; how much faster Anthony would have done this in the kitchen, how he would walk wherever he needs to go, how much I miss looking up in the kitchen and seeing Lara, how E'Lane would have helped me pick out my outfit, my makeup, my everything, how Gill would have been able to know what I was REALLY thinking and have said "I've been there", how Lauren would have reacted to the same episode of the show, and how much I wish we had watched it in her bed together, how Noor would have approved of my outfit, or told me to put on heels, how Dimitri would have laughed in my face and told me how ridiculous I'm acting.

We've all gone our separate ways- my worst nightmare has happened. While I know we're all moving towards our eventual goals- it's hard to imagine it happening without each other. I've worked 2 great weeks at Spruce in SF, gone on an amazing boat cruise on the bay and spent an unreal night up in Napa. Spruce is incredible. I walked in completely clueless- not knowing how to 'really' sharpen my knives, not knowing how to properly communicate in a professional kitchen (KNIFE IN THE SINK, BEHIND SHARP!!) and I've learned how to navigate, communicate and operate in a professional setting. Everyone has been so nice, laid back and helpful. I've had very long days, but I'm happy to re-fill the flour tanks in order to earn the respect of the Chefs. For some strange reason, on my first day- I was chosen by the Chef/Owner to work an event for 500 Bank of America VIPs at Fort Mason. While it was a long day, and I wanted to cry- I must have done something right- as he asked me to do another event with him. Same premise, same menu, and same idea, I was on the 32nd floor of a Hotel in San Francisco serving Oracle VIPs their braised shortribs. Chef Mark is unlike any Chef I've ever met- he's a true San Franciscan- super laid back, calm and pleasant to be around. He is an inspiration- a true talent with the bedside manner and attitude of any old guy. He's asked me to work with him for 3 straight days in October on an event for 750 people...again, I must be doing SOMETHING right. People know my name, they ask me how my day has been...all completely foreign to me, and yet they all have taught me something very helpful in the kitchen. I spend a lot of my time organizing the walk-in. It's become my personal project and I've done well with it. I go in with my large Patagonia fleece on and a roll of blue tape and a sharpie ready to label and mark everything up. No one told me to wear a coat, or said it was allowed-but the Chef walk in and say "wow, no one else has done something like that before- that's a good idea!" I organize all the cleaning products, and make sure all the dry goods are organized. I never thought that I would care that the tart cherries go, but when someone moves them, I notice! I'm excited by what else I'm going to learn and what else I'm going to see.

I can't believe it's been a month since we were all having dinner together after graduation...and where we all are now. Can't we go back to Paris and meet at Bar du Central at noon tomorrow? I'm dying for a chicken burger

:(