life after le cordon bleu

Graduation happened, goodbyes happened, tears happened, flights happened...a month to the day after my graduation from Le Cordon Bleu and I'm still pining away for my days in Paris. It's amazing to be back in San Francisco- I love my car, my apartment and my friends, but boy do I miss Paris. Watching the latest episodes of Gossip Girl make me dream of the days I would walk around Paris without a care in the world. I'm left with memories, and a constantly evolving scrapbook (thanks Mom and Dad!). I think about you all the time; how much faster Anthony would have done this in the kitchen, how he would walk wherever he needs to go, how much I miss looking up in the kitchen and seeing Lara, how E'Lane would have helped me pick out my outfit, my makeup, my everything, how Gill would have been able to know what I was REALLY thinking and have said "I've been there", how Lauren would have reacted to the same episode of the show, and how much I wish we had watched it in her bed together, how Noor would have approved of my outfit, or told me to put on heels, how Dimitri would have laughed in my face and told me how ridiculous I'm acting.

We've all gone our separate ways- my worst nightmare has happened. While I know we're all moving towards our eventual goals- it's hard to imagine it happening without each other. I've worked 2 great weeks at Spruce in SF, gone on an amazing boat cruise on the bay and spent an unreal night up in Napa. Spruce is incredible. I walked in completely clueless- not knowing how to 'really' sharpen my knives, not knowing how to properly communicate in a professional kitchen (KNIFE IN THE SINK, BEHIND SHARP!!) and I've learned how to navigate, communicate and operate in a professional setting. Everyone has been so nice, laid back and helpful. I've had very long days, but I'm happy to re-fill the flour tanks in order to earn the respect of the Chefs. For some strange reason, on my first day- I was chosen by the Chef/Owner to work an event for 500 Bank of America VIPs at Fort Mason. While it was a long day, and I wanted to cry- I must have done something right- as he asked me to do another event with him. Same premise, same menu, and same idea, I was on the 32nd floor of a Hotel in San Francisco serving Oracle VIPs their braised shortribs. Chef Mark is unlike any Chef I've ever met- he's a true San Franciscan- super laid back, calm and pleasant to be around. He is an inspiration- a true talent with the bedside manner and attitude of any old guy. He's asked me to work with him for 3 straight days in October on an event for 750 people...again, I must be doing SOMETHING right. People know my name, they ask me how my day has been...all completely foreign to me, and yet they all have taught me something very helpful in the kitchen. I spend a lot of my time organizing the walk-in. It's become my personal project and I've done well with it. I go in with my large Patagonia fleece on and a roll of blue tape and a sharpie ready to label and mark everything up. No one told me to wear a coat, or said it was allowed-but the Chef walk in and say "wow, no one else has done something like that before- that's a good idea!" I organize all the cleaning products, and make sure all the dry goods are organized. I never thought that I would care that the tart cherries go, but when someone moves them, I notice! I'm excited by what else I'm going to learn and what else I'm going to see.

I can't believe it's been a month since we were all having dinner together after graduation...and where we all are now. Can't we go back to Paris and meet at Bar du Central at noon tomorrow? I'm dying for a chicken burger

:(

I did it.

I don't have the words right now to properly express the way I feel right now. How proud I am of myself, or how heavy my heart feels today. The picture will have to do for now

The End is Near

I often use this blog as a means to express my excitement, my ups, my downs, triumphs and successes…this time I’m using it to express my sincere sadness and anxiety about this experience ending.

I decided to come to Paris on a whim, to do something for ME. Explore something that I truly love and see where it led me for 3 months. As my 8th month is coming to a close- I’ve accomplished more than I could have ever imagined. I never thought that I would even be here at this point, let alone completing my last practical, done my exam trial atelier and be sitting at home on a Friday night weeping about it being over.

Since we’ve gotten the list for the final- we’ve had our LAST student dinner, our trip to Rungis market, our last practical, a birthday in Paris and practiced for our final exam of Superior Cuisine (and Pastry). Our dinner at the Park Hyatt was fabulous. The food was not great, the restaurant- while impressive in resume lacked the luster that all of us expected- but we were all there, in our Sunday best with the Chefs. A very late night with Chefs Terrien, Poupard and Deguinet proved to be one of the most memorable in Paris. The same week, we all woke up at 5am to get on a bus and tour the biggest restaurant distribution market in Paris in these hideous overcoats and hair nets. We saw more meat, dairy, vegetables and flowers than we could have imagined. My 27th birthday will be one that I will never forget- spent with my friends at a picnic under the Eiffel Tower (until it started raining and we went to Bar du Central). I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Yesterday was our final exam practice. Talk about overwhelming! I finally picked and committed to my menu and soon realized…I’ve never made a jelly in my life, let alone 2 in 4 hours! I finished in 4 hours and 30 minutes flat. While I need to shave 30 minutes off my time, I accomplished what I set out to accomplish and did it well. Chef Poupard was impressed- I was told not to change anything in my menu, just tweak some seasoning and presentation and I’ll be all set. My menu was (is) as follows:

Vegetarian (cold) verrine: Tomato water jelly with tartare of fresh cantaloupe and chiffonade of basil

Plat: Guinea fowl breast roasted on the bone, tortellini stuffed with guinea fowl leg. Red wine and Port poached fig stuffed with foie gras mousse and fig jelly, haricots verts and paimpol bean salad, rocket pesto and a jus

Now comes the refining process; streamlining processes, honing seasoning skills and plating all 4 verrines, and plates hot and in 4 hours. I certainly have my work cut out for me, but when I think about it- how on earth am I at the place that I created and executed that recipe? In my head, I’m still in basic learning how to butcher animals and not ready to create a menu and make it sophisticated enough and taste good enough to pass Superior Cuisine and be an LCB chef?

The next time I walk into a kitchen at Le Cordon Bleu, will be with 3 others and it will be when we have our final exam. My parents will be here for my graduation, my apartment will be being packed up, my friends will be leaving and I don’t know when I’ll see them again. Every person I have met in Paris has given me an amazing gift- whether it be a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with, people to solve all the worlds problems with, but most of all- every person that I have met has given me knowledge that I will take with me everyday for the rest of my life. I am so thankful, I’m thankful for (in no particular order)…

The knowledge of the egg business, Mormon religion, operations management, time management, stress management, hairy pate, losing a passport and dealing with it, getting a French visa, driving the drama bus, traveling in foreign countries, communication, Michael Buble, laughter, taking back American music, dealing with 4 women all the time, the beauty of walking, confidence, long distance love and so much more from Anthony Fassio

The knowledge of good old American cars, Tracy Anderson, The tea trade (that might still be developing), The process of turning lemons into lemonade, Pierre Herme Macaroons, Mojitos sans sucre, avec vodka, staying true to myself, confidence, that every family has its neuroses, laughter, unconditional love and so much more from Lauren Zimmer

The knowledge of being in a kitchen, knowing what someone’s thinking with no words, exaggeration, everything about Dubai, The Middle East, the French Language, knife skills, menu planning, gossip, being completely myself, being goofy, Muslim weddings genuine comfort and so much more from Lara Said

The knowledge of the metric system, driving on the other side of the road (and the car), Ireland, Irish people, Irish humor, laughing for 3 straight hours at absolutely nothing, Shakira’s one good song, staying BUSY BUSY BUSY, Being something to see, he should see you, loving love, wanting love, sticking my head in an oven, powerwalks that I can’t keep up with and so much more from Gillian Breen

The knowledge of spirit runs, everything southern, unconditional love, affection, being the captain of team Carolyn, recognizing who ISN”T on team Carolyn, what to say to boys, what NOT to say to boys, the makeup section of Le Bon Marché, ‘If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’, soul food, constantly striving for fireworks, embracing change and wanting to make them in myself, a real, quality, living hug and so much more from E’Lane Bobo

The knowledge of the Muslim faith, what it means to be Arab, Saudi Arabia, Saudi people, Saudi culture, abayas, the booty drop, being constantly friendly, seeing the good in people, realizing when I’m better than something, knowing life is too short, opening my eyes to what really goes on in the Middle East, being wise beyond my years, the beauty of lipstick (and liner), how everyone looks better in heels and so much more from Noor Kandiel

I have just 12 days left in Paris, and while I know they will be amazing, the pit that remains in my stomach of the end is a constant reminder of what I’m leaving behind, but also…what I’m taking away from 8 Rue Leon Delhomme.

The List.

You are in possession of the theme for your superior exam- that's how the list begins. This is it- there is no more mystery, no practicing 10 recipes in case one comes on the final...we have it all. Let's cut to the chase:

Required Ingredients
1 Free Range Guinea Fowl
100g Duck Foie Gras
French Green Beans
New Pearl onions
Paimpol beans
4 Fresh Figs
Rocket Lettus

Optional Ingredients
Pancetta
Chicken breast
1 red bell pepper
Cantaloupe
zucchini
eggplant
tomatoes
mushrooms
parsley, cilantro, basil
Ginger
potatoes
lemon
lime
phyllo pastry
chicken stock
agar agar

We also have all the usual ingredients at our disposal:
Breadcrumbs
flour
salt, sugar
tomato paste
potato starch
pistachios
soy sauce
tabasco
Dijon
satay, tandoori
gelatin
honey
vinegars (except balsamic)
brik pastry
All dairy
Gruyere cheese
wines and alcohols

The Requirements
4 identical vegetarian verrines (shot glasses) that include 2 colors as an amuse bouche
4 identical main dishes plated at the same time
1 simple garnish, 1 composed garnish, 1 vegetable stuffed with either meat or vegetable
A jus or sauce
We also have to write out our recipes in French and draw out our plating in color.

I'm really excited to build my menu, but really apprehensive, as this means my journey is coming to an abrupt end. Again- I would love any and all recipe ideas that might be in your heads. I know how popular guinea fowl is :)

A Bientot!!

Atelier 2

Well...it's over. Atelier 2 was on Saturday. Here were the regulations:

You must make an entree and a main dish, respecting the required techniques:
1. Make a fish stock
2. A crust or pastry to enrobe the main dish or the entree
3. 1 vegetable flan and 2 simple garnishes
4. 1 hot sauce
5. I small vegetable brunoise
6. You must present 2 servings of the entree and 2 servings of the main dish.

Here were the REQUIRED ingredients that we had to incorporate:
1 gilt head sea bream fish
1 veal tenderloin
veal sweetbreads+caul fat
1 Brittany artichoke
Large spinach leaves
1 raw beet
Cauliflower
New pearl Onions
White asparagus

Between my first atelier experience and anticipation for the final- I was terrified. I was really concerned with making a good menu and also shaving a good hour off my first atelier time. Our final is 4 hours long- so I was aiming to get closer to that time requirement. I had my menu- and 2 days off before the atelier. So I practiced, researched plating ideas, and tried to come up with something 'more interesting'. I resolved that I could take this 1 of 2 ways; I could make a simple recipe and do it VERY well, or I could go for something really jazzy and contemporary and risk it not turning out.

I practiced my flan idea, I practiced my vinaigrette idea, and I wrote out my recipes in 27 'easy' steps. I was ready. Lara had put Top Chef on a USB for me and I had gotten HOOKED on it the night before. So I went in there thinking I was on Top Chef- and I had to really work fast.

We had Chef Terrien- the Chef of Chefs who was recently back from vacation. He's seemingly old school in style, HATES waste and is pretty intimidating. He announced in the beginning that he wanted our entrees at 11am, and that he wanted 1 round plate and 1 square plate. I remembered how screwed I was last time by not starting everything at once. I quickly threw my beet in water and went to filet my fish. I quickly worked out the filets, then trimmed my veal. Proteins were prepped. I started my fish fumet and went on to make my purple potato scales. I used an apple corer to make all of them uniform in shape, and used my mandolin to make them uniform in thickness. I eggwashed my fish, blanched the scales and put them on my fish. That was done. I then became the blanching queen- blanched asparagus, cauliflower, carrots, artichokes, sweetbreads...you name it, I blanched it. Once that was over I quickly moved on with my entree recipe. Plated at 11am on the nose, I presented these to plates to Terrien:




That is pan fried sea bream with purple potato scales on a bed of rocket lettuce with a beetroot vinaigrette and brunoised beetroot. Terrien really liked it. It was pretty, my fish was cooked, my portion was correct and my vinaigrette was good. He offered some good tips: that I should have put green on top of the fish, or something white, and perhaps could have made a tartare of the leftover fish that I cut (he HATES waste) I was really excited, but I was only halfway there.

I quickly cleaned and continued on my way to the finish line. I make pasta dough, made a basil coulis, 2 flans, a jus, cooked my meat and seared some spinach in the coming 2.5 hours. I plated in exactly 5 hours. With the critique and clean up session removed, I'd say I did the whole thing in 4 hours and 45 minutes. I presented these two plates to Terrien:





He really liked these plates too! Portion was correct, my flans were impeccable, cooking of veal (I thought was overcooked) was good, my ravioli was properly seasoned and it was pretty. He offered some good feedback again: that the pan where I cooked my meat was too hot, and that I needed more sauce. I also put a little bit of basil on top of my ravioli and he didn't like that, but all in all I was really pleased. He offered his congratulations (I think because my face lit up) and I quickly ate both portions of veal (hey- I was hungry and I earned it!) and began my cleanup. Before I cleared one of my plates- Chef Clergue came in to survey what we had done. He also really liked my dishes. He's HUGE on portion size and was pleased with mine, and my flan was 'soft' enough. The tired-ness hit me when I was cleaning up. My feet and back started to hurt and I didn't want to do anything. A quick lunch with Anthony and Lauren and I was napping on my couch before a FABULOUS home cooked meal by E'Lane's mom. It was perfect. Having a Mom around is so comforting, even if it's not your own. It was a great end to a long day. I'm really pleased with my atelier, and exceptionally pleased with the progress from #1 to #2. The improvement is what really I'm proud of. I'm excited to start bainstorming my final exam dishes, don't worry I'll be sure to seek out any ideas and advice from you all!

I'm off to bed- I'm still a zombie even after a 2 hour nap today and a great night's sleep last night. I don't think I accounted for the stress of the anticipation of the upcoming atelier. I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight! That is, of course before my 8:30am demo class tomorrow.

A bientot!

Reflection.

Sometimes I have these moments where I think about what I'm doing versus what some of my friends are doing. Cate is studying for the bar, Hannah and Jana are in medical school, Beach is back in New Haven in graduate school, Kerry is a lawyer, Talley is an architect, Laura is in business school...and here I am in culinary school...in Paris.

My lcb friends and I joke that a hard day for us is when our sauces won't reduce, or we undersalted or oversalted our mushroom flan- and our friends in the 'real world' are saving lives, and fighting for others' rights. I'm not discounting where I am or what I'm doing, I often just sit back and think about how different our lives are; how similar we can all be in so many ways, yet our passions and interests couldn't be farther from one another.

As I sit here on my couch researching sweetbread recipes, getting ready for lesson 15 of superior cuisine at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, I can't help but smile thinking about the different paths we've all taken, and how much farther we have to go. 5 years ago we were all freaked out college graduates hoping to get our first job; now we've all had those first, second, third jobs all eventually getting us to where we are now all over the world.

We had our last student party the other night at Alcazar. As I looked around at all the students letting loose, I wondered where all of us will be in the future, who I will keep in touch with, and who I might never see again. Lara and I were talking today about the first conversation we had- neither of us remember the initial contact that first day, but now we both bemoan the fact that we won't be across the counter from one another everyday cooking, sharing farce, laughing at Chef Cotte's English and griping over who took the sponge from the sink. I can say with confidence that I have grown more in the past 6 months and 13 days than I could have ever imagined. Paralyzing panic for the basic practical exam to dreaming about different flan ideas for my second superior atelier has been the most fulfilling period of my life. I used to consider my 7 leg operations as an accomplishment...that's got nothing on impressing the chefs at school, the anticipation of Chef Clergue putting the toque on my head on August 26th, or Chef Cotte telling me today that he loved my attitude in the kitchen and that he was happy at how far I've come in my time in Paris.

Looking at recipe 15 for tomorrow has brought me back to life- deboned and stuffed squab cooked in a cocotte with pork belly and garlic cloves...YUCK!

Bonne Nuit!

Happy Bastille Day!

July 14th has usually only meant one thing to me in the past...Cate and Jordan's wedding anniversary. This year, I along with about 100,000 of my closest friends watched the fireworks spectacular over the Seine.

The French know how to celebrate!

The start to the 'lasts'.

Tonight is our last student party as LCB students. This first of many lasts is really hitting me harder than I imagined. I knew this would come to an end, but I'm just not ready yet. To all you faithful readers wherever you are, get ready for a lot more of these sappy posts as more and more lasts start to occur. I'm excited to live it up with the students tonight...I'll post pictures tomorrow (Bastille Day!)

Slainte!

Correction/Retraction

As my wonderful father pointed out, I made a mistake. Circle the calendar! Having been an athlete my whole life, it's slightly embarrassing to have made the mistake in the title of my last entry. OBVIOUSLY you only need to win 4 out of 7 games to be world champions.

Crow eaten. Sorry Dad, next time I wont screw up when quoting you! Thanks for always being there to tell me those funny quotes during my various meltdowns...the last one having been pretty biblical. Mom- be thankful you didn't answer your cell phone!

A Bientot!

You only need to win 5 out of 7 to be world champions...

That is a famous Robert Gioia line. He mentions is to me anytime I freak out about a bad day in the kitchen. That can pretty much sum up my first atelier experience. After working through my recipes and finally deciding what to make, I felt like I was ready to walk in, and cook for 6 straight hours. I felt like I had a battle plan, and that I certainly wouldn't need all 6 hours.

Chef Malike- a new Chef was our proctor and we were in the smallest kitchen. My plan had been to completely finish the entree and present them, and then work on my main dishes. I got to working, making my shortbread dough and letting it rest, escaloping my salmon, cleaning my shrimp, making my marinade. I got lost in my garnishes- I blanched and candied lime zest, I sliced very think lime slices, coated them in sugar syrup and left them in an oven on a silpat to dry. I sliced paper thing potato crisps, dunked them in clarified butter, salted them and left them to dry as well. I blanched my peas and made my puree. In the end, a very simple entree took me way too long. Chef Clergue came in to taste all of our dishes. He liked mine, but I put too much salmon on the shortbread, and my marinade cooked my salmon too much. He liked it all in all, my shrimp was cooked well, plated well. My marinade was good, my brunoise of red bell pepper was good...but wasn't out of this world.

A quick and not nearly thorough enough cleaning and I was moving on to the main dish. I made my pastry for my tart, lined the molds and blind baked them, butchered my meat and started my jus, peeled, seeded, and petaled my tomatoes and got them ready to be put in the oven to confit. I used my trusty mandolin and started my eggplant and zucchini roasting in the oven. I made my stuffing, stuffed the legs, steamed them, then browned them, I seasoned and seared the breast meat, sliced, seasoned and cooked my mushrooms and put it all together. Again, Chef gave me some good feedback and some constructive criticism for my dishes. He really liked the plating on my square plate, my jus was very good. My meat cooked very well, tart was good. I survived.

Lara and I were dead last to plate. 2 very speedy people typically in practical were LAST TO PLATE. There was a moment of stress when I was finishing everything up that I wouldn't finish on time. I thought to myself- this is not me in the kitchen, I'm usually not such a wreck. After going over that day about 3 thousand times- I realize now what I did wrong. I should have prepped and began everything at the same time. Butchered all my meat together, started all my sauces at the same time, dried my potatoes, limes, and tomatoes together. I could have been far more efficient. It was certainly not my best work but Chef said my ideas were good, and my food on the whole was good. For the next atelier, we have 5 hours and the one after that 4- which is what we have for our final exam. I need to really think about how to be much more efficient and work on several things at once. I've already begun researching and have a couple of ideas. Here are the required ingredients:
1 sea bream
1 veal tenderloin
veal sweetbreads
caul fat
1 brittany artichoke
Large spinach leaves
1 raw beet
1/2 cauliflower
1/2 bunch spring onions
6 white asparagus

anyone have any ideas?? I need to blow this one out of the park! I'll leave you with a few photos from my 1st atelier.